The saying goes, "If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, try fertilizer." -Anonymous.
New developments fuel my hope that he really does want this to work.
Lets start with Sunday, not sure if I mentioned it yesterday or Sunday night but, he did admit that he deserved in part some of the way I was acting. That's big because he rarely admits when he is wrong. From that moment on....there were no other texts with the female soldier since. That statement is good through this day as well... Which yes that means I have in fact checked the phone logs, but I've not said anything to him about any number he has been texting. I'm choosing to trust that anyone he is texting is on the up and up now.
I did more reading as well last night. Today is day 9. Love makes good impressions.
This details how we act towards friends, family and acquaintances as opposed to our spouse. So if you think about how you do this, for me, I hug my friends when we meet, and am polite to strangers as well. But while I do give hubby a kiss most of the time, there isn't much thought rather it's just part of the routine. Now don't get me wrong, I'm always excited to see him and excitedly anticipate his getting home from work every day. But I don't feel that it is being reflected properly in my greetings to him.
Today's dare is to make that a daily habit. Now with him gone I can't do that in a physical sense, but I can make sure when he reads my texts he knows I'm happy he texted, and will follow up on Friday with the proper greeting to him.
No onto my other reading that I want to share with you...this is a good one I think.
Rejecting what he says....I do this all the time, I will try every wrong thing possible just so I don't try his right answer. Sometimes its out of spite, sometimes out of the way it's delivered, sometimes because I could one up him, or thought I was smarter. All the wrong answers.
Read this carefully because not only is it true, it may even be a little scary
Honoring his answers takes as much courage as trusting him does.
It doesn't mean you can't have an opinion or a conversation but you have to respect his thinking rather arguing your point. Be direct with how you feel, it may influence his thinking just as his can influence you. You can always debate but in the end accept his position. The goal is not to win, but to repair damage and restore intimacy in your marriage. Your spouse's thoughts will generally have the best intentions and hope for you. Always
Don't ever ask about how he feels...its like talking to a woman about her weight...uncomfortable at best and embarrassing at the worst.
These are pretty important ideas. Men don't like to be confronted with their own feelings they deal and process things much differently than women...We can always express ours but we must carefully prepare our thoughts and words, not everything should be communicated.
On to a good day...hope you have one as well. :-)
New developments fuel my hope that he really does want this to work.
Lets start with Sunday, not sure if I mentioned it yesterday or Sunday night but, he did admit that he deserved in part some of the way I was acting. That's big because he rarely admits when he is wrong. From that moment on....there were no other texts with the female soldier since. That statement is good through this day as well... Which yes that means I have in fact checked the phone logs, but I've not said anything to him about any number he has been texting. I'm choosing to trust that anyone he is texting is on the up and up now.
I did more reading as well last night. Today is day 9. Love makes good impressions.
This details how we act towards friends, family and acquaintances as opposed to our spouse. So if you think about how you do this, for me, I hug my friends when we meet, and am polite to strangers as well. But while I do give hubby a kiss most of the time, there isn't much thought rather it's just part of the routine. Now don't get me wrong, I'm always excited to see him and excitedly anticipate his getting home from work every day. But I don't feel that it is being reflected properly in my greetings to him.
Today's dare is to make that a daily habit. Now with him gone I can't do that in a physical sense, but I can make sure when he reads my texts he knows I'm happy he texted, and will follow up on Friday with the proper greeting to him.
No onto my other reading that I want to share with you...this is a good one I think.
Rejecting what he says....I do this all the time, I will try every wrong thing possible just so I don't try his right answer. Sometimes its out of spite, sometimes out of the way it's delivered, sometimes because I could one up him, or thought I was smarter. All the wrong answers.
Read this carefully because not only is it true, it may even be a little scary
Honoring his answers takes as much courage as trusting him does.
It doesn't mean you can't have an opinion or a conversation but you have to respect his thinking rather arguing your point. Be direct with how you feel, it may influence his thinking just as his can influence you. You can always debate but in the end accept his position. The goal is not to win, but to repair damage and restore intimacy in your marriage. Your spouse's thoughts will generally have the best intentions and hope for you. Always
Don't ever ask about how he feels...its like talking to a woman about her weight...uncomfortable at best and embarrassing at the worst.
These are pretty important ideas. Men don't like to be confronted with their own feelings they deal and process things much differently than women...We can always express ours but we must carefully prepare our thoughts and words, not everything should be communicated.
On to a good day...hope you have one as well. :-)
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