OK yesterday I posted this:
"I peeked ahead for tomorrow...that ones going to be tough. Talks about Jealousy and getting rid of everything in the negative list. Also the list of hurtful statements he has said to me in the past on my phone. I told myself I kept it as a reminder of what not to be...but the more I read and the more I think about it, I used it more to fuel my insecurities and as ammunition against him. Time to let it all go."
Day 8: Love is not jealous.
This is a nasty one. I didn't know this but jealousy comes from the word zeal which means to burn with intense fire. There's you spelling lesson for the day! lol
Intense fire, that pretty much sums up what most feel when they are jealous.
There are two forms legitimate (based on love) and illegitimate (based on envy). When it is legitimate it is when someone you love turns away and replaces you with someone else. Illegitimate is selfish, for instance your coworker gets promoted over you. Rather than being happy for them, you tear them down whether in front of them or behind their back. You are bitter. More close to home....its born out of selfishness. You are angry because he gets to go play golf while you are stuck at home cleaning and taking care of the kids. Or you are at home while she's out with her girlfriends. If not fused it can create resentment on both sides.
True love isn't selfish. It refuses to let jealousy in and it hopes for the best possible happiness for the other.
For some this is a no brainer. For others they are clouded by jealousy and fear. I'm a good example. I for some stupid selfish reason let my own selfish wants define my marriage. I allowed it to become resentful of him having the ability to go out and do fun things. Feeling like I was being left behind...the only reason I was left behind is because I stayed behind out of fear and insecurity. I chose to stay at home. He told me to go out and have fun, he told me to do lots of things for myself for fun.....I chose the wrong answer. I chose it time and time again. And then I started making him feel bad for wanting to do things. Part was not giving him full trust that he would do the right thing, and the rest out of my own selfish stupidity. Of course he didn't always deserve my full trust....but that still was no reason to be selfish. I should have voice my concerns and problems correctly. Rather than taking it out on him....
Today's Dare: Become his biggest fan. Set my heart on him and focus on his achievements. To do this I have to get rid of the list from yesterday..the negative one.
And answer this: How hard was it to burn the list? What are some positive things that I've been able to share with him.
Well deleting the list on yesterdays post wouldn't really be practical...but at least I can promise I'll never go back to that page. I won't focus on the negative things he's done or said. Instead I will continue to improve on myself and look to the positive.
Some things we've shared. His recent promotion, our daughters placing in her competition; the awesome surprise party and date night he planned for my birthday; Our upcoming anniversary. We've not shared a lot in the past few months simply because of work and school. But we are going to see him at school this weekend.
Well...onto day 8...here's to hope for the future and a great day for everyone!
xoxo
"I peeked ahead for tomorrow...that ones going to be tough. Talks about Jealousy and getting rid of everything in the negative list. Also the list of hurtful statements he has said to me in the past on my phone. I told myself I kept it as a reminder of what not to be...but the more I read and the more I think about it, I used it more to fuel my insecurities and as ammunition against him. Time to let it all go."
Day 8: Love is not jealous.
This is a nasty one. I didn't know this but jealousy comes from the word zeal which means to burn with intense fire. There's you spelling lesson for the day! lol
Intense fire, that pretty much sums up what most feel when they are jealous.
There are two forms legitimate (based on love) and illegitimate (based on envy). When it is legitimate it is when someone you love turns away and replaces you with someone else. Illegitimate is selfish, for instance your coworker gets promoted over you. Rather than being happy for them, you tear them down whether in front of them or behind their back. You are bitter. More close to home....its born out of selfishness. You are angry because he gets to go play golf while you are stuck at home cleaning and taking care of the kids. Or you are at home while she's out with her girlfriends. If not fused it can create resentment on both sides.
True love isn't selfish. It refuses to let jealousy in and it hopes for the best possible happiness for the other.
For some this is a no brainer. For others they are clouded by jealousy and fear. I'm a good example. I for some stupid selfish reason let my own selfish wants define my marriage. I allowed it to become resentful of him having the ability to go out and do fun things. Feeling like I was being left behind...the only reason I was left behind is because I stayed behind out of fear and insecurity. I chose to stay at home. He told me to go out and have fun, he told me to do lots of things for myself for fun.....I chose the wrong answer. I chose it time and time again. And then I started making him feel bad for wanting to do things. Part was not giving him full trust that he would do the right thing, and the rest out of my own selfish stupidity. Of course he didn't always deserve my full trust....but that still was no reason to be selfish. I should have voice my concerns and problems correctly. Rather than taking it out on him....
Today's Dare: Become his biggest fan. Set my heart on him and focus on his achievements. To do this I have to get rid of the list from yesterday..the negative one.
And answer this: How hard was it to burn the list? What are some positive things that I've been able to share with him.
Well deleting the list on yesterdays post wouldn't really be practical...but at least I can promise I'll never go back to that page. I won't focus on the negative things he's done or said. Instead I will continue to improve on myself and look to the positive.
Some things we've shared. His recent promotion, our daughters placing in her competition; the awesome surprise party and date night he planned for my birthday; Our upcoming anniversary. We've not shared a lot in the past few months simply because of work and school. But we are going to see him at school this weekend.
Well...onto day 8...here's to hope for the future and a great day for everyone!
xoxo
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