So I just watched the premiers of two Lifetime shows, 7 days of sex, and Amanda de Cadenet.
7 days is about two couples each week who commit to having sex 7 days straight...Well for hubby and I when things are good that's an average week, so for me the idea that couples have sex less than 3-4 times a week is insane....Sexual compatibility and desire is huge!!!! But that's me and that's us. It's how we work. We both get cranky if we drop to 3-4 times a week, I couldn't imagine 2 or less a week. Hell, I'd buy stock in Energizer if that was the case! LMAO I don't see this show lasting simply because there's no way to expand. Each week same story two different couples. I wasn't a big fan of either couple this week but will watch another week because that girl is gonna take a lap dance class. I need one of those. I keep trying to convince hubby we need to buy a stripper pole!
Amanda is a basic interview show with celebrities but she asks the not so normal stuff. They talk about sex and love and the normal things that us non millionaires want to know.
It was her show that kind of...well hit me with the light bulb rather than turning it on. Jane Fonda was talking about what was missing in her first three marriages and this book she's writing now on aging. Intimacy. but I've noticed more and more in different things shows I'm watching or things I read, how much everything actually portrays some part of a surrendered wife. Having that feminine vulnerability, having the alpha male to take care of us. Not losing our individuality and independence, but its that primal function in us that wants it. The display of everyone and the portrayal of a woman seems to always hint at that. Having the love centered around the couple with traditional roles inside the home. Outside she may be the breadwinner or the leader of the pack, but inside she still has that desire to be taken care of and sought after. We all want that and in some cases struggle with our feminist vision of being strong, independent and climbing the ladder just as fast as the men do. I've become so much more aware since starting this book. It's funny how reading something can instantly change your perspective.
Oh, and last night hubby went out with guys from his class to watch the draft. I did everything I could to not text and bug him all night. He was going out to have a good time with new people and didn't need me reminding him I was there. I succeeded lol. Texted once to tell him I hope he had a good time. And then when I went to be I told him good night. He responded favorably to both. My mind wandered some about what he was doing and who he was doing it with, but I reminded myself I need to give him the trust that when he says he's doing XX that he really is doing XX.
This morning I woke up and texted a good morning to him. And his response was excellent!! It was "good morning gorgeous"....this is a big thing because that is basically a pet name he has for me, only used when things are good. That is awesome... good feeling to fuel good thoughts and a positive frame of mind. Happy day!
Another positive note...down 2 lbs!! yay me!
On today's agenda... love is not rude. I'm supposed to ask him three things that bother him about me. Now I could actually ask I'm but this is actually a long ongoing problem, so I do have a good knowledge of what bothers him about me. I don't listen, I don't think before I speak, and I don't take being fit seriously.
Now after reading several more pages of the Surrendered wife, I feel good in saying that that is actually a reflection of both of us.
It talks about a husband who is short tempered with the kids or you and how that is actually done out of frustration and in part why you see him withdrawal from family. Makes sense...if hes frustrated with me and ends up taking it out on both me and the kids, I'd withdrawal too. So I need to listen better and put on the tactful filter on before I speak. Those are simple enough but take an active effort, some days a VERY active effort to enact.
The third my weight..honestly I hate running, I hate lifting weights. I love the result but the work needed to achieve and the deprivation of sugar and good fattening foods is very hard to give up. I've ended up becoming a bulimic as result. For 7 years now, I've struggled with bulimia and anorexia. It's a response to guilt I feel over eating that slice of pizza or having more chips than I wanted to eat when I realize I've gone through half a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Some time the urge is stronger than others. I've been very good about hiding it. No one knows of my nasty little habit. until now, but I've also taken measures to ensure that stays a safe secret too. Now, I don't have the idea that I will never be thin enough..I have a very specific image of where my "perfection" is, and its not 100 lbs. I don't want to look like skin an bones... my idea is somewhere between 130-145. I still want curves and I still want some meat on my bones...just not as much of it. He gets angry because he said I make the most physical change while he is gone. That is because its easier to not eat and to purge when he's not around. When he's here, I eat more because I am with him when we eat...so yeah I do end up gaining some back. Which suck because I've yo-yo-d more times than I can count. I know the healthy ways to do this and do keep that standard, I work out and eat healthy. but I do have a slower metabolism and am an easy gainer hard loser type. So I do have to work more for what comes easier to others. I even got a boost from the plastic surgeon... when I first lost my big chunk of weight, I got a breast lift. That is the first place I lose from face and boobs. The deflated. So I got the Army to pay for that surgery! (Thanks Uncle Sam...that was for the first deployment!!) Then I gained some to 175 and lost more to 145...all that running during the 2nd trip to Iraq toned so much and lost so much fat That the hubby bought me a tummy tuck and implants. BEST DECISION EVER!!! I lost 6 lbs of skin off my stomach...this stuff no matter how many sit ups and ab exercises I did, it wasn't going anywhere, all it was was stretch marks. So I went from a flat C cup to a gorgeous D cup. for the first year I think I played with them as much as Hubby did!! Now I have the hip to hip scar and still have quite a few stretch marks, but its skin that will change, its where I can work with it and get the six pack...I know its there just haven't found it yet. I have never regretted plastic surgery and recommend it highly if you have the right idea and frame of mind to do it. You can have all the work done you want but if you aren't going to maintain yourself, it's a wast of money...
But I like the idea of being his trophy...he shows me off to the guys he works with and it boost both of our self esteems. Most women love to be looked at, love it when a guys eyes follow us as we walk past. I spent most of my life as the friend of the pretty one. The guys always wanted my friend and not me. Hubby says they were insane for this because I'm way hotter than she is/was. But that's how it was for me...Every guy wanted me as a friend, just not a girlfriend. So now having my hubby be envied because he has me...freaking awesome!!! ;-)
So for today I will continue to actively trust him and his choices, I will continue to open mouth when needed and keep it shut more often. I will not be rude and be more thoughtful. I will continue to decrease my sugar intake because that is a big help for me and weight loss.
And now I'll go off to get some house work done!!
Have a great day
Day 5 and going...
7 days is about two couples each week who commit to having sex 7 days straight...Well for hubby and I when things are good that's an average week, so for me the idea that couples have sex less than 3-4 times a week is insane....Sexual compatibility and desire is huge!!!! But that's me and that's us. It's how we work. We both get cranky if we drop to 3-4 times a week, I couldn't imagine 2 or less a week. Hell, I'd buy stock in Energizer if that was the case! LMAO I don't see this show lasting simply because there's no way to expand. Each week same story two different couples. I wasn't a big fan of either couple this week but will watch another week because that girl is gonna take a lap dance class. I need one of those. I keep trying to convince hubby we need to buy a stripper pole!
Amanda is a basic interview show with celebrities but she asks the not so normal stuff. They talk about sex and love and the normal things that us non millionaires want to know.
It was her show that kind of...well hit me with the light bulb rather than turning it on. Jane Fonda was talking about what was missing in her first three marriages and this book she's writing now on aging. Intimacy. but I've noticed more and more in different things shows I'm watching or things I read, how much everything actually portrays some part of a surrendered wife. Having that feminine vulnerability, having the alpha male to take care of us. Not losing our individuality and independence, but its that primal function in us that wants it. The display of everyone and the portrayal of a woman seems to always hint at that. Having the love centered around the couple with traditional roles inside the home. Outside she may be the breadwinner or the leader of the pack, but inside she still has that desire to be taken care of and sought after. We all want that and in some cases struggle with our feminist vision of being strong, independent and climbing the ladder just as fast as the men do. I've become so much more aware since starting this book. It's funny how reading something can instantly change your perspective.
Oh, and last night hubby went out with guys from his class to watch the draft. I did everything I could to not text and bug him all night. He was going out to have a good time with new people and didn't need me reminding him I was there. I succeeded lol. Texted once to tell him I hope he had a good time. And then when I went to be I told him good night. He responded favorably to both. My mind wandered some about what he was doing and who he was doing it with, but I reminded myself I need to give him the trust that when he says he's doing XX that he really is doing XX.
This morning I woke up and texted a good morning to him. And his response was excellent!! It was "good morning gorgeous"....this is a big thing because that is basically a pet name he has for me, only used when things are good. That is awesome... good feeling to fuel good thoughts and a positive frame of mind. Happy day!
Another positive note...down 2 lbs!! yay me!
On today's agenda... love is not rude. I'm supposed to ask him three things that bother him about me. Now I could actually ask I'm but this is actually a long ongoing problem, so I do have a good knowledge of what bothers him about me. I don't listen, I don't think before I speak, and I don't take being fit seriously.
Now after reading several more pages of the Surrendered wife, I feel good in saying that that is actually a reflection of both of us.
It talks about a husband who is short tempered with the kids or you and how that is actually done out of frustration and in part why you see him withdrawal from family. Makes sense...if hes frustrated with me and ends up taking it out on both me and the kids, I'd withdrawal too. So I need to listen better and put on the tactful filter on before I speak. Those are simple enough but take an active effort, some days a VERY active effort to enact.
The third my weight..honestly I hate running, I hate lifting weights. I love the result but the work needed to achieve and the deprivation of sugar and good fattening foods is very hard to give up. I've ended up becoming a bulimic as result. For 7 years now, I've struggled with bulimia and anorexia. It's a response to guilt I feel over eating that slice of pizza or having more chips than I wanted to eat when I realize I've gone through half a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Some time the urge is stronger than others. I've been very good about hiding it. No one knows of my nasty little habit. until now, but I've also taken measures to ensure that stays a safe secret too. Now, I don't have the idea that I will never be thin enough..I have a very specific image of where my "perfection" is, and its not 100 lbs. I don't want to look like skin an bones... my idea is somewhere between 130-145. I still want curves and I still want some meat on my bones...just not as much of it. He gets angry because he said I make the most physical change while he is gone. That is because its easier to not eat and to purge when he's not around. When he's here, I eat more because I am with him when we eat...so yeah I do end up gaining some back. Which suck because I've yo-yo-d more times than I can count. I know the healthy ways to do this and do keep that standard, I work out and eat healthy. but I do have a slower metabolism and am an easy gainer hard loser type. So I do have to work more for what comes easier to others. I even got a boost from the plastic surgeon... when I first lost my big chunk of weight, I got a breast lift. That is the first place I lose from face and boobs. The deflated. So I got the Army to pay for that surgery! (Thanks Uncle Sam...that was for the first deployment!!) Then I gained some to 175 and lost more to 145...all that running during the 2nd trip to Iraq toned so much and lost so much fat That the hubby bought me a tummy tuck and implants. BEST DECISION EVER!!! I lost 6 lbs of skin off my stomach...this stuff no matter how many sit ups and ab exercises I did, it wasn't going anywhere, all it was was stretch marks. So I went from a flat C cup to a gorgeous D cup. for the first year I think I played with them as much as Hubby did!! Now I have the hip to hip scar and still have quite a few stretch marks, but its skin that will change, its where I can work with it and get the six pack...I know its there just haven't found it yet. I have never regretted plastic surgery and recommend it highly if you have the right idea and frame of mind to do it. You can have all the work done you want but if you aren't going to maintain yourself, it's a wast of money...
But I like the idea of being his trophy...he shows me off to the guys he works with and it boost both of our self esteems. Most women love to be looked at, love it when a guys eyes follow us as we walk past. I spent most of my life as the friend of the pretty one. The guys always wanted my friend and not me. Hubby says they were insane for this because I'm way hotter than she is/was. But that's how it was for me...Every guy wanted me as a friend, just not a girlfriend. So now having my hubby be envied because he has me...freaking awesome!!! ;-)
So for today I will continue to actively trust him and his choices, I will continue to open mouth when needed and keep it shut more often. I will not be rude and be more thoughtful. I will continue to decrease my sugar intake because that is a big help for me and weight loss.
And now I'll go off to get some house work done!!
Have a great day
Day 5 and going...
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