Well I went it my relaxed sleep via muscle relaxers thanks to some nasty back trouble...Slept Awesome.
Only I woke up and I send my usual text, Morning Baby to the hubby, his response is "Morning Misty". I've come to realize I hate when he uses my name. It's always been hey gorgeous, baby, honey, or a half dozen other nicknames. He only uses my name when I'm in trouble. But he also did that yesterday so I'm going to do my best to not read too much into it.. Yesterday was a good day.
So we are now on day 3 of trying to save my marriage.
He hasn't said much and I'm taking that temporarily as a good thing. No news is good. Expect the positive to achieve the positive..holy shit I sound like a self help book!!!
Considering I'm currently reading two I guess that would be something to be expected. lol
So time to come clean on that. I'm reading The Love Dare and The Surrendered Wife. Now before I go any further, I'm not overly religious. I have a firm belief that I dn't need a church to find God, and sermons are nothing more that the preachers interpretation of the bible. I can do that myself. Not to say anything is bad about churches or anything but just not for me right now...maybe that will change
The second sounds like a throw back to a Stepford Wife or some BDSM thing. Not true. It came to mind two days ago out of the blue. I remembered seeing a big dust up on the Oprah show forever ago. Anyway, back to the point. It actually so far is a book on self reflection and realizing your contributions to a rough marriage...Go figure, maybe if I had read this several years back I wouldn't be in this situation now... hindsight is 20/20 and a huge kick in the ass.
But Day 3 of the dare is also about selfishness. Good stuff, it talks about how love really is the opposite of selfishness and both are not possible. If you are acting with ulterior motives, not love...selfish. True love can't be selfish. The dare, buy something that says I was thinking about him. Kinda hard to do that when hes in another state. So I may need to adapt that. But the principal is still there.
Now from the other book, I've rambled on about the basics up till now. This is about letting him be dad... if the hubby is short tempered with the kids, it can be a result of my being disrespectful on something. Sounds cooky but its an indirect result. He's irritated and angry with me over something so that reflects when something comes up with the kids. As a military wife, I am left with being the dad and the mom every time he has to go away. The problem is that when he comes back I don't trust that he knows what he's doing (see a trend). Hes fine, stricter than I am, but we have always gotten compliments on how great our kids are. I have him to thank for that mostly. His rules gave them boundaries, manners and purpose. My lack there of, in some cases, gave them the freedom to be kids. We balance each other out. Not to say that we both don't have room for improvement. I could always be stricter and he can let up, and we both could exercise a little more patience, but no one is perfect.
My interference and flat out undermining in some cases is ruining his relationship with the kids and making him the perpetual bad guy. So not fair....so selfish (look another trend!).
So today is about adding support and removing selfishness. Well I think that is good for now...her goes day 3.
Only I woke up and I send my usual text, Morning Baby to the hubby, his response is "Morning Misty". I've come to realize I hate when he uses my name. It's always been hey gorgeous, baby, honey, or a half dozen other nicknames. He only uses my name when I'm in trouble. But he also did that yesterday so I'm going to do my best to not read too much into it.. Yesterday was a good day.
So we are now on day 3 of trying to save my marriage.
He hasn't said much and I'm taking that temporarily as a good thing. No news is good. Expect the positive to achieve the positive..holy shit I sound like a self help book!!!
Considering I'm currently reading two I guess that would be something to be expected. lol
So time to come clean on that. I'm reading The Love Dare and The Surrendered Wife. Now before I go any further, I'm not overly religious. I have a firm belief that I dn't need a church to find God, and sermons are nothing more that the preachers interpretation of the bible. I can do that myself. Not to say anything is bad about churches or anything but just not for me right now...maybe that will change
The second sounds like a throw back to a Stepford Wife or some BDSM thing. Not true. It came to mind two days ago out of the blue. I remembered seeing a big dust up on the Oprah show forever ago. Anyway, back to the point. It actually so far is a book on self reflection and realizing your contributions to a rough marriage...Go figure, maybe if I had read this several years back I wouldn't be in this situation now... hindsight is 20/20 and a huge kick in the ass.
But Day 3 of the dare is also about selfishness. Good stuff, it talks about how love really is the opposite of selfishness and both are not possible. If you are acting with ulterior motives, not love...selfish. True love can't be selfish. The dare, buy something that says I was thinking about him. Kinda hard to do that when hes in another state. So I may need to adapt that. But the principal is still there.
Now from the other book, I've rambled on about the basics up till now. This is about letting him be dad... if the hubby is short tempered with the kids, it can be a result of my being disrespectful on something. Sounds cooky but its an indirect result. He's irritated and angry with me over something so that reflects when something comes up with the kids. As a military wife, I am left with being the dad and the mom every time he has to go away. The problem is that when he comes back I don't trust that he knows what he's doing (see a trend). Hes fine, stricter than I am, but we have always gotten compliments on how great our kids are. I have him to thank for that mostly. His rules gave them boundaries, manners and purpose. My lack there of, in some cases, gave them the freedom to be kids. We balance each other out. Not to say that we both don't have room for improvement. I could always be stricter and he can let up, and we both could exercise a little more patience, but no one is perfect.
My interference and flat out undermining in some cases is ruining his relationship with the kids and making him the perpetual bad guy. So not fair....so selfish (look another trend!).
So today is about adding support and removing selfishness. Well I think that is good for now...her goes day 3.
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